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Are you a Man/Woman yet?

Guys, do you ever wonder how to begin defining yourself as a real man? Girls, do you ever wonder if you are fully a woman yet? Here are three simple questions you can ask about yourself or about the boy/girl you are interested in to see if either one of you are at a maturity level to be considered a man or woman.

  1. Am I self confident and express courage about my beliefs/values?

  2. Am I responsible?

  3. Do I think of others before myself?


Self Confidence

Guys, did you know that the first thing a woman notices about a man is confidence?

Girls, did you know that even though guys are usually attracted to your looks first, if you aren’t confident about those looks the guys might lose interest?

Typically we notice if someone if confident by the way they walk, speak and behave.

Here are a few things to look for:

  • Good posture communicates self confidence and healthy physique. Poor posture communicates weakness in body and spirit. So head up and shoulders back!

  • Listening is a form of confidence. A man or woman confident enough in themselves do not have to talk all the time. Especially about themselves!

  • Eye contact is huge! It is a subliminal form of validation. If you look someone in the eyes you express confidence in your ability to interact with them.  Eye contact also shows how interested you are in the person you are talking too.  So guys, on that first date, don’t be afraid to stare into her eyes while she is talking (just remember to listen!).  If you forget to listen then you can tell her how her eyes have captured your thoughts or something along those lines…

  • Girls, the way you dress tells a whole lot about your confidence. Remember, every woman has the same parts that you do! So you don’t have show them off all the time to remind the guys about what they already know!


woman knows what she has is beautiful and doesn’t have to reveal it to get attention.

girl doesn’t realize the beauty she naturally possesses and tries to amplify it by revealing far more than necessary. Do you want a guy who has been attracted to your breasts or your natural beauty? Girls who reveal too much can come across as very insecure, like they have a need to turn heads in order to feel good about themselves.


woman turns heads by feeling confident about herself and walking like she owns the place! (Remember to smile…)


Believe it or not this is not always a trait that people are looking for right away in a relationship, but it is a key factor in lasting relationships. Responsibility is a good indicator of maturity – another key factor in a lasting relationship.  It comes in all shapes and colors.  Someone repeatedly following through on what they say is a very obvious sign of responsibility and maturity.  Someone constantly out of money and always asking you to pay…. responsible or no?


Some other good indicators of responsible people:

  • How they manage their time

  • How they manage their money

  • How they manage their relationships

  • How they manage their emotions


As you are probably beginning to notice, responsible behavior is not commonly linked to guys and girls in high school.  Sometimes not even college students have it all together yet.  This would mean then, as you are looking for love and romance, chances of having a very healthy relationship in high school is not as realistic as in college or even after that.


Are others more important?

This is the ultimate sign of good character. This is the point where you realize that money is not as important as a healthy relationship. You recognize that your job is not as important as a healthy relationship. You define yourself as selfless not selfish. There is NO way to have a healthy relationship unless both people are willing to put the other person’s needs and desires above their own. In a healthy relationship, you are trying to “out give the other person.” Can you imagine what that would look like if both people are trying to out give the other? Beautiful!


How can you spot this in someone?

  • Look at how they care for their families.

  • How do they take care of their pets?

  • How do they treat their friends?


What are you looking for you your relationships?  


What do people see in you?

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